got this from my sisters blog.. its hilarious.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede theirposition. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "In-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how manywords women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because wehave to repeat everything to men...The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God mademe beautiful so you would be attracted to me;God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about whoshould brew the coffee each morning.The wife said, "You should do it, because you get upfirst, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cookingaround here and you should do it, because that is yourjob, and I can just wait for my coffee."Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."So she fetched the Bible, and opened the NewTestament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.......... "HEBREWS"
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were givingeach other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break thesilence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why hiswife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. (:
I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
{♥ } {BANG}.
